Three Cheers for George W. Bush
Editor, The Konformist
15 November 2000
You gotta hand it to that wacky Bush boy. Whatever important and notable traits he lacks - like, say, intelligence, honesty, integrity, or any legitimate claim to be President - he almost makes up for in brashness.
Take, for example, the outcome of the 2000 Presidential Election. In 1980, when his daddy engineered a backdoor deal with the Iranians to keep the hostages hostage and ensure a Reagan victory, Poppy Bush (who, despite being up to his neck in other creepy high-jinx - including CIA drug-running, Iran-Contra, the S&L crisis, Iraqgate and the Persian Gulf slaughter - was still a wimp) at least decided it would be best to steal a presidential election covertly, fearing the American public would be outraged if they knew what was going on. George W., meanwhile, despite evidence widely known that the election involves patently impossible voting patterns in Palm Beach County that would almost certainly swing the election to Al Gore if corrected, has instead used his cronies to insist that supposed procedure of law is a more important value than the rights of the American people to be fairly represented. And that's merely the widely known facts: as the reports of widespread evidence of pre-punched ballots in African-American communities (to deprive them of their vote, which was 90% in favor of Gore) continues to trickle to mass awareness, even the lie of Bush winning the presidential race courtesy of an "honest" mistake may soon vanish.
While a lesser man would have his hands full trying to swindle the American Presidency, this has hardly slowed G.W. down one bit. He wouldn't even let the unpretty sight of his face breaking out in boils (caused, no doubt, by his pact with Satan) stop him. In fact, while he is busy in his highly publicized theft of American democracy, he is quietly breaking the record for legal mass murders via executions in a single year by any governor in the history of the United States.
Breaking the record is no minor accomplishment: the previous number was 37, and at the start of the week, the George W. Bush 2000 kill count was at 35. Yet, with a slashing attack that seems to echo Wayne Gretzky or Mario Lemieux on ice, Bush appears to have engineered a one-week hat trick that will put him over the top.
On Tuesday, Stacey Lawton, died by lethal injection: Tony Chambers was executed today to tie the huge number. Tomorrow night, in one of those magical moments in history that stands up there with Mark McGwire smacking number 62, the Bush Governorship will exterminate its third prisoner of the week and smash the single season record. (And that's without any pesky Sammy Sosa chasing his ass down from behind.)
Leave it to Shrub to not merely break the record, but to break it with style: number 38, Johnny Paul Penry, is a man with the mental capacity of a six-year-old. His IQ is 56, and he can't read or write. He believes in Santa Claus.
Perry was found guilty of a 1979 rape and murder, a crime which he did confess to. His sister, Sally Belinda Potts Gonzales, has stated that whatever twisted cruelty he tragically inflicted on 22-year-old Pamela Mosley Carpenter, he learned it by the repulsive treatment he received during his own sordid childhood. Growing up, he was subject of sick levels of abuse by his mother that included threats to have his eyeballs gouged out and his penis hacked off. He was locked in his room without food and water for long periods of time, and forced to eat his own shit and drink his own piss. None of which, of course, excuses his own terrible crime, but the execution of John Perry hardly seems a just end to an unjust cycle of destruction.
Of course, as George W. has shown repeatedly to be his official position, justice be damned, especially when it gets in the way of breaking a national record (or, for that matter, giving the American people an honest election.) And so, the Texas death machine moves forward. No surprise there: since 1976, Texas has executed over 200 individuals, far and away the highest total in the country. Perry is scheduled to be Bush's 150th in less than six years.
(Of course, one group of killers has received incredible leniency in Texas: slayers of African-American males. 25 percent of all murder victims are African-American males: as of November 1 - the last official stats available - only 1 of the 232 executions since 1976 in the state involved such crimes. This has led many to conclude that the implementation of the death penalty in Texas - besides being morally objectionable in the first place - is fundamentally racist.)
As impressive as the death totals under G.W. Bush has been this year, here's the clincher: the record he is breaking with number 38 is HIS OWN, set in 1997.
This puts George W. Bush in a class all by himself. When it comes to executions, the resemblance of G.W. Bush to Gretzky is an apt comparison: he truly is "The Great One". Nobody even comes close.
Let's hear it for G.W. and the Texas death machine, and look forward to him doing more of the same, whether in his state or in Washington, D.C. very soon. And Shrub, we'll see you at Disneyland!
Update: Due to the Texas Supreme Court's liberal rulings, Bush was denied the record on Thursady. The Court decided that executing a retarded man may be considered cruel and unusual punishment after all. Nonetheless, despite this setback, Bush appears ripe to break the national record very soon.
Kirby The Konspiracy Boy Says, "I NEED 2 KONFORM!!!"