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Version 2.0
August 1998
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Kirby the Konspiracy Boy Koffee Mugs
NOW SOLD OUT!!!
STAY TUNED 4 FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS!
Yes, that's right, our own loveable mascot now has his first product. And best thing of all, with each purchase of a Kirby Koffee Mug, you help promote and subsidize the world's number one underground internet magazine and it's web site. Not only that, but because (unknown to us until receiving them) the mugs were made in China, odds are you will also be subsidizing Third World slave labor!!!
Whoops. That's not a good selling point, I suppose. Well, after the first batch of 200 are sold out, all future mugs will be "Made in the USA".
On one side is Kirby, our popular icon, in his first merchandising object. On the other side is The Konformist logo and the following caption:
Kirby The Konspiracy Boy says "Don't Drink This Koffee! It's Been Poisoned By the CIA!"
How much would you pay for these Koffee Mugs? Normally, in retail stores, you would pay $50 for such a fine Koffee Mug, and believe me, it certainly would be worth every penny. But of course, you aren't going to pay $50 for it, nor will you pay $40, nor $30, nor even $20. No, your price for a mug is $6.49, plus $3.00 shipping . (Californian's must add sales tax.)
As a price comparison, we called up Disney Stores, and asked how much a Mickey Mouse Mug would cost. The answer was $7.00. And keep in mind folks, this is how much people pay for a mug with a RODENT on it, not an adorable kid. Let's be honest: if you came home one day and saw Mickey Mouse on your couch, what would you do? Face it: YOU'D CALL THE EXTERMINATOR. Whereas, if you walked in and saw Kirby, you'd merely ask yourself, "Hey, why is he eating all my peanut butter?"
We accept cash, check and money order. Pick your poison.
Send $6.49 + $3.00 Shipping to:
The Konformist Koffee Mugs
Post Office Box 24825
Los Angeles, CA 90024-0825
Please include following:
Name
Street Address & Apartment Number
City
State
Zip Code (Okay, it's not neccesary if you want to avoid being under the IRS' jurisdiction, which of course is another conspiracy theory.)
Phone Number
Email Address
Note: All International Orders must first email a request so postage can be calculated.
Thanks to Gene Fisher and Yorkie Specialties for the Koffee Mugs. Gene and Yorkie can be reached at :
(310) 838-3979
