The Konformist

KON4M 99
September 1999

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John-John Humor

What could be funnier than a collection of jokes inspired by a recent death?


What do the Kennedys miss the most about Martha's Vineyard?

The runway.


Why didn't John-John take a shower before his flight?

He figured he'd wash up on the beach.


What's the best way to see JFK Jr's body?

A submarine.


What's the Kennedy's flying motto?

Your luggage will arrive before you do!


Why was JFK, Jr. flying to the Vineyard?

He wanted to crash his cousin's wedding.


What will they name the movie about movie JFK, Jr.?

Three funerals and a wedding.


"Picking up the Pace" Department:

Used to be that Kennedy's drowned their women one at a time!


We hear JFK, Jr. has changed his name to "Bob".


JFK Jrs last words:

I wish I hadn't bought this damned plane from John Denver!!


I'm just waiting to make sure he's dead. You never know, he might be a better swimmer than Ted's girlfriend.


What will it take to bring the former first family back together again?

One more bullet


What was JFK Jr.'s final cheap thrill?

Going down on Gay Head


News Flash - Details are just starting to surface - fragments of the final minutes are still being pieced together.

Just before the plane took off, John Jr. told his driver- "You feed the dog, I'll feed the fish".

Though the flight recording has much static & noise, it's become apparent they were playing John Denver music approaching Martha's Vineyard. Experts have also pieced together a few fragments of conversations during the flight. When weather reports began to indicate haze & potential visibility concerns, Carolyn asked John Jr. if he was OK making the final approach. He replied, "No problem, uncle Teddy taught me all the ropes on driving and flying over water."

It also appears from the tapes that John Jr. may have been distracted during the critical moments of the final approach - there had been at first jovial, then sharp discussions over John Jr. past girlfriends. Up to the last, he insisted his favorite movie was Splash. The final comment recorded on the tape was Carolyn asking "What's this button for?"

And finally, according to his White House advisors...It was leaked that Bill is going to buy Hillary flying lessons.

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