Beast of the Month - December 2000
The George W. Bush Votescam 2000, Election Swindlers
"I yam an anti-Christ..."
John Lydon (aka Johnny Rotten) of The Sex Pistols, "Anarchy in the UK"
John Lydon, walking offstage after the Sex Pistols' final gig.
Imagine, if you can, Hillary Klinton running for president. (It isn't hard to do.) Imagine that she loses the popular vote, but wins an electoral college "mandate" due to a victory of less than 1,000 votes in New York. At the time, both the Governor of New York and its Secretary of State are Democrats, who are tied very closely to Hillary, and quickly attempt to declare Hillary the winner. Imagine also that her victory is aided by over 10,000 double-punched ballots in a conservative Christian county, where the ballot had a faulty design, and the double votes are for both the GOP candidate and Ralph Nader. Question: would anyone of a conservative bent be declaring this was a legitimate election? Would they be urging the GOP candidate to give up for the "good of the country?" Would they be arguing that all this talk of election fraud was hurting the stock market and the ordeal needed to be finished so the nation can heal? And perhaps most important, would anyone be writing to The Konformist, calling it "partisan" for not defending Hillary's "election"?
Keep in mind before you answer these questions one thing: the gods have a very wicked sense of humor.
For those who wonder why The Konformist has been so "one-sided" on this issue, it is because we actually try to adhere to consistency. This is not, after all, about Bush vs. Gore. It is about Bush vs. the right to representation, a right that has been effectively trampled on in the past month. The choice is a simple, slam-dunk decision.
The truth is, we could care less for Al Gore: he is a fraud who didn't deserve a single vote he received in winning this election. We also do find it ironic that a political team trying to fight organized larceny of the Oval Office has a man named "Daley" as its spokesman. But you don't need to defend Gore and Daley to find disgust at the behavior of the Bush Campaign this year. They have put both Watergate and the October Surprise to shame.
It really is quite amazing. At least Tricky Dick was honest enough to call his campaign team "CREEP". On the other hand, let's give Shrub some credit: unlike his father (who, after all, was a wimp) he has been brash enough to try to steal the presidency from people in plain view.
It didn't have to be this way: faced with the evidence of a dubious result in Florida, G.W. could've demanded a revote, giving some speech about how he wouldn't want to be president if his election was in doubt. (And, contrary to one of the many lies which has been in print, this wouldn't break any law. In fact, due to faulty voting machines, there was a revote in one Maryland county for the 1972 election, eight days after election day. The revote was included in the state's final totals and certified by Congress, a pretty compelling precedent.) Hell, he could've earned some sorely missing respect for such a brave act, even if he did lose a legitimate revote. But that would be too honorable a deed to expect from G.W., or, for that manner, any member of the Bush family.
We could go on and on about the scandals in Florida: the double-punched ballots, the claims of pre-punched ballots in African-American voters, the harassment and suppression of African-American voters by Florida Highway Patrol pigs. We could, but it's just not worth it: anyone who missed it the first time clearly won't pay attention now. The key to understand Votescam 2000 is that it isn't a conspiracy. It is out in the open.
That means that the real blame for this mess lies on the shoulders of the American people. As Bill Klinton tried to cheerfully put it recently, "Some countries, people would be in the streets over this. I'm thankful I live in a country with enough faith in its democracy." Translation: what a pathetic gang of lazy suckers you all are.
That said, here are the other Beastly characters behind the worst election scandal in the history of our once supposedly great nation, all who get a share of this scandalous prize:
* George W. Bush: The sorry excuse for a man at the center of the controversy. Son of one of the most creepy characters of the 20th century.
* Richard "Donkey Dick" Cheney: Shrub's VP candidate. The man who led the Pentagon during the Persian Gulf massacre and then rewarded with sleazy Texas oil-executive job.
* Donald Evans: Bush's Campaign Chairman, and thus the chief organizer of the theft.
* Karen Hughes: Bush Communications Director. Leading blowhard for team Bush, perhaps the only person who could exceed Bush in the smarmy department.
* Karl Rove: Bush Chief Strategist. Head Machiavelli in the defense and promotion of the grand larceny.
* Ari Fleischer: Bush Spokesman. Tried to argue that Palm Beach County was a Buchanan stronghold.
* Theodore Olson: Bush Lead Counsel. Longtime reactionary lawyer for hire.
* James Baker: Daddy's Hired Gun. Came in and repeatedly pronounced slurs of any public official who dared to get in the way of the gross violations of democratic rights.
* John Ellis "Jeb" Bush: Brother of George W. and Governor of Florida. The crooked rigging which has occurred in Gatorland has his fingerprints all over the place.
* Katherine Harris: Florida Secretary of State. A blatant partisan for both Bush brothers (and perhaps not merely because of politics), she has abused her office in a repulsive manner while hiding behind her caked makeup.
* John Ellis: Fox Executive and Bush first cousin. The man who first pushed for the declaration of Shrub's "victory," a declaration soon followed like a parrot by the rest of the media.
* Xavier Suarez: Miami Ex-Mayor. Though he lost his election as Miami thanks to vote fraud and record falsification, he "helped fill out absentee ballot forms and enlist Republican absentee voters in Miami-Dade County" during the last election. (His own words.)
* John Sweeney: New York Congressman. Ordered a Miami-Dade County mob to "shut it down" when a recount threatened to overturn the Bush swindle.
* Dick Armey and Tom DeLay: House Majority Leader and House Majority Whip, both from Texas. In an unprecedented move, both vowed to block any move aimed at electing Gore in Congress when it meets in joint session to accept the results of the electoral college.
Contrary to the sales job from "conservative" circles of a "liberal media", the right-wing had quite a few blowhards to defend the undefendable this election:
* Paul Gigot: Wall Street Journal reporter who celebrated the "bourgeois riot" which shut down the vote counting and gloated over Representative Sweeney's potentially criminal involvement in a shutdown of voting.
* Paul Craig Roberts: In a fabulous David Duke impersonation, ranted in an article titled "Stop, Thief" that America was being stolen by Hispanics and Blacks from the Third World. Roberts is also a regular WSJ columnist.
* George Will: Twerpish intellectual dweeb who feigns enjoyment of baseball to cover for his effete manner. Incredibly whined of a "ferocity gap" in the election which he insisted the Democratic Party was leading, and alleged a "slow-motion larceny" was in effect.
* Charles Krauthammer, Michael Kelly, Robert Novak: Trio of hacks in the snobbish Will mold, all hammering in on and promoting the same lies.
* Ann Coulter: Shilling for the GOP is a equal opportunity program for women. Insulted Palm Beach voters by declaring them "stupid," "feeble-minded" "jackasses," while the Florida Supreme Court represented "a kangaroo court."
* Richard Cohen: Washington Post Columnist. Though supposedly a "liberal", declared the following: "Given the present bitterness, given the angry irresponsible charges being hurled by both camps, the nation will be in dire need of a conciliator, a likable guy who will make things better and not worse. That man is not Al Gore. That man is George W. Bush." As the World Socialist Web Site would note, his article "combines political idiocy and cowardice."
* George Bush: Batting cleanup. Needs no introduction.
The Votescam 2000 merely is the icing on the cake for the senior Bush, and it is fitting that in the month before the 20th Century officially expires, lurking in the shadows, as usual, is Bush, now along with the rest of his family of unrepentant creeps. No question that, over the last fifty years, Bush has been the King of all Beastliness, and the Beasthood shall continue thanks to his demon-seed for a long time to go, no matter how the election ends.
And just how will this all end? Here's a clue: Al Gore's worst enemies weren't in the GOP but in his own party, who believe it would be politically wiser for the Democrats to cave in and shoot for the 2002 and 2004 elections, taking over Congress first, then the presidency. Little surprise: a party without principals can't be expected to defend people's right to vote. That certainly isn't an encouraging sign. Nor is the fact that Al Gore has gone out of his way to silence the protests of African-Americans outraged over the scandal. It appears Gore would prefer people not know that his legitimate victory has more to do with the disgust that Shrub and his party have rightfully earned from minorities than any admiration for a man that should have cake-walked into the Oval Office in the first place.
Win or lose, George W. Bush and co. have already taken Beasthood to a new recent low. And that says a lot, which is why we recognize them all.
In any case, we salute George W. Bush (and his slimy cohorts) as Beast of the Month. Congratulations, and keep up the great work, dudes!!!
The Finest Collection of Votescam Links Going
Update: Finalizing the coup, on December 18, The Electoral College voted 271-266 George W. Bush as "president".
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