Editor, The Konformist
"Jeb and Kat are sitting in a tree
Okay, I admit. This whole damn good citizenship thing just isn't my style.
And while The Konformist continues to highlight evidence of voter fraud and the suppression of fair representation, I just can't help but degrade the entire story with tawdry and sensationalized muck.
Rumors are flying that Jeb Bush and Katherine Harris are having an adulterous affair. Whether or not that is true, they have the potential to turn an already mondo Presidential election into an even more bizarre realm. For, if the rumors are true, the woman who dubiously certified the supposedly final vote totals is getting banged on a regular basis by the brother of the man she was in a rush to judgment to declare the victor.
I had heard the rumors early: that Newsweek was sitting on allegations that Jeb Bush and Kat Harris were secretly cheating on their spouses. My well-placed sources informed me that CNN had issued "Guidance" to its newswriters instructing them NOT to report the affair.
According to one source:
"Here's what was written November 28 in cnni.readme (a constantly updated file on CNN's computer network):
'Guidance Newsweek has an item on an alleged personal relationship among two of the top players in Florida. Under NO circumstances should this be reported on CNN without the approval of senior management.
We'd also recommend that we be prepared in case this gets brought up during a live interview or news conference.'
CNN and the rest of the media are digging hard -- but they're squelching it from the public until they can cover their tails."
The rumors are slowly being released, ironically enough by conservative news outlets, eager to control the spin by declaring the rumors to be a smear job.
The December 1 New York Post Page Six featured the title, "MEDIA GANG OUT TO SMEAR HARRIS." (More like a "gang bang.") The story dealt with "bogus rumors" and "despicable lies", though failed to address what the rumors and lies were. The story did take the time to stress, however, that Harris "is a dedicated, hard-working elected official" who "has been happily married since 1996." Later that same day, Newsmax decided not to beat around the bush (double pun intended) and spelled it out for its readers. They did add that so far investigators had "hit one dry hole after another." (Pun unintended?)
To be fair, the claim that it is all a smear job is extremely plausible: it has long been a standard scheme to throw smears to "make the bastard deny it," as LBJ once put it.
Still, whether the rumors are true or not, one thing is pretty clear to this writer: beneath that icy, hard-assed, makeup-caked exterior, Katherine Harris is one nasty fuck-slut. I know one when I see one, and, rest assured, I don't need to see her wear a rubber suit to know that she is a horny bondage queen during her weekends.
"I need it up the ass now, Jeb!!!"
Which, perhaps, proves that the GOP has learned something from Peckergate: if you are going to use female henchwomen to do your dirty work, at least make sure they are tasty looking if they get in the spotlight. Hell, the Democrats have known this little fact for a while (though, at this point, Hillary is looking kind of frumpy.) Lucianne Goldberg and Linda Tripp just couldn't cut it.
In any case, we are looking forward to the nude pictures of her that will no doubt soon be uncovered and printed in Penthouse, and are even more eagerly awaiting the daughters of Al Gore entrance into politics. In the meantime, enjoy the entertaining soap opera of watching democracy be stolen before your eyes.
Friday, December 1,2000
By RICHARD JOHNSON with
Paula Froelich and Chris Wilson
MEDIA GANG OUT TO SMEAR HARRIS
REPORTERS at the New York Times, the Washington Post, Newsweek and CNN are scrambling frantically to find something - anything - they can use against Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, who certified the state's voting tally in favor of George W. Bush. But they are coming up empty.
Harris, who has been attacked over her lipstick and make-up, was said to be prepared for what she views as Democratic dirty tricks aimed at demonizing her.
The Al Gore camp denies it is behind the bogus rumors about Harris. "We have one goal, one focus, one objective - simply to count every single vote in Florida," said Gore spokesman Chris Lehane.
Harris' lawyer, Joe Klock, told PAGE SIX: "This is a dedicated, hard-working elected official who is doing her job well." Klock, who will defend Harris this afternoon on the Court TV special hosted by Ed Hayes and Rikki Klieman, said, "These despicable lies say more about her enemies than [they say about] her."
An investigative reporter for a news weekly said, "These rumors, fueled by interested partisans, have been flying for weeks. I'd be derelict in my duty if I didn't look into them, but there is nothing there."
Harris, 43, has been happily married since 1996 to wealthy Swedish-born businessman Anders Ebbeson, 55.
"They did the same thing to Linda Tripp," said Lucianne Goldberg, publisher of lucianne.com. "If you can't find anything on a woman, make fun of the way she looks. If that doesn't stick, start a phony sex rumor because it's like fog.
"You can't make it go away. You can't prove a negative. They are ganging up on her even though there isn't one bit of evidence."
The media "investigations" of Harris have conservative women up in arms.
Laura Ingraham, the comely author of "The Hillary Trap: Looking for Power in all the Wrong Places" (Hyperion), said, "Now let me get this straight, the left-leaning deep thinkers in the media are now in favor of the politics of personal destruction?
"They, just like sensitive Al, only applaud a certain type of girl power - the kind exercised by women who agree with them. Katherine Harris is an attractive, rich, and gutsy Republican who isn't impressed by the sanctimonious jabs of the media - so, of course, the press is out to get her."
With Carl Limbacher and NewsMax.com Staff
For the story behind the story...
Friday December 1, 2000; 2:06 PM ET
Dems' Media Dirt Diggers Coming Up Empty on Harris
The Washington Post, the New York Times, Newsweek and CNN are among the Clinton-Gore team's media dirt diggers now searching for some scandal that would tarnish the reputation of Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris. But so far they've hit one dry hole after another, reports the New York Post on Friday.
Last Sunday Harris certified her state's presidential election for George Bush, a sin for which Democrats have vowed to make her pay.
Earlier this week, the New York Observer revealed that the Dem-friendly Washington Post had assigned reporters to search for any evidence of a sexual relationship between Harris and Florida Gov. Jeb Bush. The Observer also noted that "everyone" at the pro-Gore New York Times was "buzzing" about the story.
One reporter on the "Get Harris" beat told the Post's Page Six, "These rumors, fueled by interested partisans, have been flying for weeks. I'd be derelict in my duty if I didn't look into them, but there is nothing there."
Still, that didn't stop the New York Daily News from indulging in a little visual innuendo, using its Thursday edition to front-page a photo of Harris standing next to Bush in a pose that made them look like a couple.
Gore mouthpiece Chris Lehane told the Post that the veep's team has nothing to do with the ugly rumor-mongering. "We have one goal, one focus, one objective - simply to count every vote in Florida."
Still, at least one Gore campaign aide has vowed revenge against Harris, telling NBC News anonymously that the she can look forward to an investigation into her background "that will make Whitewater look like a picnic."
Kirby The Konspiracy Boy Says, "I NEED 2 KONFORM!!!"